A little about who I am...

A little about who I am. Well, that's a bit of a loaded statement. Does anyone actually start these things out with just a little synopsis? How do I wrap up my first 25 years of life into a little readable non-rambling package for your consumption? Here is my attempt, it may bore you, you may relate, but either way this is who I am.
I was raised in your normal middle class family in New England. My mother busted her ass every single day to ensure that my brother and I were provided for, as my Stepfather was really good for nothing but laundry. He was an ornery alcoholic and never treated my mother with the respect that I always knew she deserved. Looking back on my childhood as an adult I was probably exposed to a lot more violence, alcohol and drug abuse than should have been, but in all things there is a lesson. I vowed as a young adult that I would never be brought down by a man, and no matter what I would never go down the paths of addiction...
I started dabbling in drinking and drugs at a very young age. Never allowing it to get too out of hand (yeah, like any preteen can actually say this) but from my memories I wasn't that wild of a kid. I went through a stage where I stole my mothers Toyota Tercel and took joy rides with friends not thinking of any kind of repercussion, being caught didn't mean very much to me at the time, and neither did possibly killing a car full of kids. I'd wait 2-3 weeks and be back on the road cruising around town in circles listening to music and getting felt up in the back seat by the boy I liked that week. That all came to and end when I met the man (boy) of my dreams, and here's where the story gets good.
I had been dabbling in X and would on occasion arrive to school rolling my face off, it was fun exciting and a little nerve wracking thinking that I could be caught at any moment. Then I saw him. WOW, this guy was hot! *SWOON* He had the most beautiful kissable lips I'd ever seen. One problem, my very good friend had dibs, damn... But after a few weeks and an introduction she'd tired of him trying to get into her pants and gave me the green light. I will be forever thankful to her for this.
Rolling at school makes you want to brush up against every single person roaming the halls, it makes you want to put your face against the cold concrete bricks and stand there forever, it also makes you seek out the object of your affection shove him up against said wall and pour your tongue down his throat. And that is where our little love affair began. One night, one blow job and he was mine.
He entered the Marine Corps. at 18, a short 9 months after we began dating. I knew I'd wait for him, I knew that one day I'd marry him, I knew all these things that every 16 year old high school girl just KNOWS about her first love. We fell even deeper in love the way they did during the era of WWII & Viet Nam, hand written letters, notes with flowers sent every single month on our "anniversary" from thousands of miles away. I would rush home from school and rip open my mail box begging for a letter saying, "He's still alive, he's coming home soon, he still loves me." By the end of his second tour I knew that the boy I had fallen for was now a man, and that man was, in so many words damaged. The events and engagements he'd been a part of in Iraq would change his life and mine forever. But, I stuck around because I knew he was worth it, and I knew he needed me. We were married 3 months before his voluntary third tour to Afghanistan, I was 18 and fresh out of high school, he was 21.
TBI is a bitch. PTSD is an even bigger one. Dealing with both in your significant other at the young age of 19 just sucks completely. I had no idea how to help him, nightmares, night sweats, flash backs, headaches that'd go on for days and way too much drinking to try and keep the thoughts of his lost friends at bay began to take a toll on the both of us. It took just around 4 years to pull my loving husband out from the pit of grief he had been in since returning from his services over seas, in the span of those years he lost his father to cancer, nearly lost his mother to the same and very nearly lost me due to a COMPLETE loss of judgment and eventual infidelity. I call those years the ones that almost broke me.
We have now been together nearly 10 years, married for 6, and have brought 1 and a half (Due mid august) beautiful boys into this world. Life is still not easy. But who the hell needs easy? Id take my new life as a stay at home mom, with a disabled Veteran husband and a crazy toddler and newborn over an easy life any day, because it's mine.

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